Staying Alive

 An artist must reach for his brush everyday if he wants to stay alive. After a couple of days of not painting I begin to not feel well. A few days later anxiety sets in and there’s a heaviness in my chest then I begin to get headaches. If it reaches two weeks the fear that my days of creating anything are over, insomnia sets in and irritability becomes an understatement. This repeating nightmare begins right now as I’ve just finished my latest painting and I have no idea what’s next. I have no subject in mind and the present world around me offers no ideas or inspiration which is why all my paintings look like the past.

“After Work”

Acrylic on 14x18” canvas

   I envy the man in this painting. He looks comfortable and relaxed which is something I’ve fought with  for most of my adult life. The exemption being when I would self medicate with Scotch or Japanese whisky but that’s been in my past for 9 years now. I feel that I should be doing something more important than lounging in a chair, wasting time. This isn’t my first chair painting, it’s actually my fourth without at first realizing why I keep returning to the theme. There are of course other comforting aspects in these paintings. The patterns of wallpaper, fabric on the well broken in chairs and the sense of homes when they were actual homes. Comfortable homes meant for living and not like todays staged homes trying to impress while looking like a monochrome curated showroom.