Manic
I often wonder where the line is that separates manic with staying busy, dedication with obsession. Those thoughts come to mind when I'm sitting in my work space, surrounded by everything that I'm currently working on, and it's a lot, sometimes it feels overwhelming and confusing, which brings on anxiety. But what worries me the most is when I begin to think "what's the point" of doing all this, even any of it.
For the last few decades I've painted and taken photos, and that was enough for me, but something change over the last couple of years. I began working on three photography projects at the same time, I was making collage paintings, watercolor paintings, oil stick paintings, sharpie marker paintings, all of various subject matter. Now I'm working on at least eight photography projects, and there might be an ninth coming soon. As for painting, I'm only working on new dark collage paintings for my 8 year old series "Through My Mind, Darkly". But this could change at any time.
This year I've added a few more things to my list. The first are street art stickers. The second is "message non-art", with more on that later. And finally the most bizarre for me is writing poetry. Who knows what will be next.
PHOTOGRAPHY
My most active photography project, or portfolio, or body of work for those with distain for the description of "project", is "Subway". Photos taken with the twenty year old Ricoh GRG camera in Philadelphia's subway system. So far I've taken and printed three hundred dark, gritty, grainy, soft focus photos. I began this in 2014 and after taking several years off, I returned to it last year with no end in sight. I spend around nine hours a week riding the subway.
About a year and a half ago I came with the idea of just taking black and white snapshots of anything I found interesting, and print them 4x6" to be placed in albums. I pulled out my old Leica D-Lux4 point and shoot camera since I thought it it would be best for this. I found it liberating have to planned subject, and to print the photos at a small size. I currently have 443 photos and I'm not sure how this ends.
I have never published these photos online, and I have only shared them with a friend who lives in Sweden that is doing the same exact thing.
While waiting for my train home to Chestnut Hill, I'll walk around the mostly desolate Suburban Station with my Fuji Xt4 camera, trying to document the one once great station. This is not a long term project, and it's only something a do a few days out of the month. Void of people, my photos show the effects of failed gentrification. But at some point I might add the human element to it, when there are actually humans there.
Oh, and I should mention, that I have grown to hate carrying a large camera around with me all day.
One day, while walking through the Acme Market parking lot across the street from my house, I found a handwritten shopping list. It gave me the idea to document them. The problem is, it's easier to find a ten dollar bill than a hand written grocery list, thanks to the smartphone. In the last year and a half I have documented sixteen of them, but I won't start to print them until I reach twenty four. My goal is to find one hundred. I've always liked typology photography.
Around three years ago I became more of a recluse, and I really liked the challenge of taking photos at home. Granted, I knew it would be tough since my environment went from being a very large artist loft, to a small townhouse in a more suburban setting.
To begin, I first had to decide if I wanted to take color or black and white photos, and then the aspect ratio of those photos. It didn't take me long to choose black and white, and the shorter 5:4 ratio to keep the subject front and center. It's a slow process which yields between 4 and 6 photos for an entire year. If this was the only project I were to be working on, I would go insane over the snail like process.
Ever since I were a child I liked instant photography. Back then Polaroid was a great company with great cameras and film. Today not so much. Which lead me to purchasing a Fuji Instax Wide camera. I've owned one before, but that was 14 years ago, and they didn't offer black and white film yet.
I envision myself as an old man only using an instant camera. No more computer, no more Lightroom or Photoshop, no more printer, and the opportunity to produce only one unique photo.
As of now I rarely use the Instax because of a lack of fitting subject matter, and the cost of film, which is still cheaper than the new Polaroid junk film. But given the chance I would use it a lot more.
When the opportunity arises, I'll grab my 24 year old 4 megapixel Canon G2 compact camera and take photos, but like with the Instax, it's now rare.
I print these photos on 5x7 paper and place them in old photo lab albums. I love the snapshot, and even with the very low megapixels, the photos look great on paper up to 13x19".
"Manifesto" is an idea that I've begun before, sometime around 2014, but the city at night changed entirely too much for me to continue. The chances of continuing it were practically zilch, which is a shame because I took some of my best photos then.
Fast forward to today and I want to try it again, but with a few changes. First, the photos can be taken anywhere, at any time. Second, the photos will be taken vertically in the 4:3 aspect ratio. And finally, I'll be using a superzoom point and shoot camera to open up the possibilities, and cease the need for me to chase a subject down.
Once again, it's a slow start. Sometimes my memory gets in the way, and I lose the understanding that the world has become too homogenized and curated. I'm hoping to find my footing with this project by the end of the year.
For a long time I wanted to take more meditative photos, but I lacked the idea of subject matter. Today there are those taking "Komorebi" photos, mostly because of the movie Perfect Days. The method of taking those kind of photos, which is the capturing of sunlight filtering through tree leaves, was not in my wheelhouse. Maybe it had to do with my environment, the current trend factor, or that I just wasn't seeing it with my very over-sensitive eyes. So I began photographing clouds.
Everyday, usually around 4pm, I step out on my roof deck a look skyward. The idea is try to capture my mood for the day. I then print the photo (only one photo per day) 4x6", date it, and place it into a photo album. The album holds 300 photos, and I've taken 80 photos. there will not be a second album.
PAINTING
Believe it or not I'm only working on one series of paintings. I thought "Through My Mind, Darkly" was laid to rest a few years ago, but I keep coming back to it. I guess I have more to say and express. These collage paintings really opened my mind about art, and how it relates to my world. The world I see in my head.
I recently completed two paintings, and I'm beginning to assemble a third. The challenge for me is not finding subject matter. It's finding space to store them all. A couple dozen are on my walls, several have sold, and the rest are shoved into a small cubby hole. The lack of work and storage space has stopped me from creating large pieces.
STREET ART and NOT ART
About six months ago my art life took a strange turn. At the age of 56 I began making what would be classified as street art. After seeing so many subway fare evaders at every single station I designed a "Subway Evader Card", and had 500 of them printed. At first I thought about stickers, but I wanted something people could take with them. All 500 were placed in subway cars, stations, and even in some peoples open backpacks. I wish that I had a couple thousand printed.
My second idea was also based on experiences in the subway. Girls, mostly in their twenties, would block the subway doors. They almost all resembled each other. Youngish, suburban transplants, trying hide the fact that they were frightened behind a set of headphones and backpacks. When the doors of the trained opened, they wouldn't move out of the way, and tried to give attitude. So the "Bitch" sticker was born.
Using Sharpie markers and USPS stickers I made 100 of these. Today I still have 96 of them. Why Haven't I put them up in the subway? First the life expectancy of anything graffiti related in the subway is a couple hours at most, and I don't understand the purpose if no one sees them.
Currently I'm making more USPS sticker, but with David Lynch on them. David Lynch was an art God to me, and he is greatly missed. I've written "Fuck Pop Art" on them because the masses today don't want to think about complex art, or art that looks "creepy" as some have put it. They want bright, colorful, "happy" art, that themselves, friends and family all can understand together. It's pathetic.
I have no idea how many of these I'll make , or what I'll do with them.
I have to give a lot of credit to those who spend the time to make graffiti and stickers to only have them quickly removed day after day. Maybe if I were younger....
Ok, now for the "not art".
There are those who claim that everything is art. What a bullshit statement that is. One that devalues the whole art process. So I take my markers and write "This Is Not Art" on ordinary objects that I find on the street and sidewalk. This one I plan to continue for educational purposes.
Poetry
Now this one even took me by surprise! Never did I think I would be writing poetry. It all began when I was taking photos on the subway. I wanted to express what I seen and heard in another way beside a straight forward description. So far I've written almost 70 poems, and I'm still in shock that those words come out of me.
I have since expanded my poetry to include my everyday life.
In conclusion I'm wondering if I'm doing too much, even though it does get me out of bed in the morning. But I sometimes envy those artist who work on one thing their entire life. The photographer who has only photographed the streets of New York for 5 decades, the painter who developed one style and never ran out of ways to express it. Could I have been that type of artist ? I doubt it, but I can dream, can't I.
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